Archives For marriage

You and Me Forever

Where does one draw the line between sharing one’s own experiences with particular Godly lifestyle choices and simply making excuses for one’s own decisions? That’s the question I kept asking myself as I listened to the audiobook edition of You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity by Francis & Lisa Chan. Don’t get me wrong: I agree with the basic premise of this book (that the way to have a great marriage is to put God first before even your marriage) and am happy to see the Chans write a book promoting this premise. And the great news is that this message does come across throughout the book. Unfortunately, it is mired in personal anecdotes that kept bringing me back to that question. Case in point: Francis says that he frequently travels and is away from his family. His children understand that he has to put God first and, therefore, might not always be there when they want him. While that sounds great, I would be willing to bet that he has a neighbor who is similarly not there when his children want him, but his excuse is that his work pays for their lifestyle. It’s just two excuses for the exact same result.

Again, I’m not saying this book is awful. There’s truth to be found. For example, Lisa says that she leads a Bible study on being a Godly wife. After many years, she has come to realize that we focus too much on “Godly wife” and “Godly husband” and that if we focused more on “Godly” we wouldn’t need the rest of it. I think that’s a great point and it’s not the only one in the book. Also, Francis and Lisa do use scripture throughout the book.

So, should you bother to listen to or read this book? Maybe. I still think it’s a great premise, but, honestly, the book has caused me to question that premise.

The narration is excellent. The book is read by the authors and they did a phenomenal job.

Oh, by the way, the summary of the book leads one to believe that this book is beneficial to singles as well. Here’s how that works: you need to get married today so that you can enjoy the wife/husband of your youth by focusing on God rather than your spouse. Personally, I believe that God gives us all singleness for a time for a purpose, just as he gives some people marriage for a time for a purpose. While single, we must focus on God’s purpose for our singleness. If we marry, then we must focus on God’s purpose for our marriage. The Chans are stuck in the common Christian attitude that marriage is absolutely God’s plan for us all, which has lead so many people to ignore God’s call for their lives.

I find it interesting to see which of my blog posts are the most popular during any given period of time and decided to share the information for July with you, my readers. A few of my more recent posts have been quite popular, but there’s one older post that has remained on the list month after month. Here it is, in declining order of popularity:

  1. Psalm 16:7-11
  2. Texas Bar Sues Church
  3. Jesus Manifesto by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola
  4. Sabbatical
  5. MuseScore and ScoreRender
  6. Stop Dating the Church! by Joshua Harris

Please read and comment!

I came across an interesting post on Internet Monk a few weeks ago and want to share it with you. It has led to interesting discussions among my family members and caused me to question my own reactions to certain behaviors. The post is entitled “Will We Have To Leave?” and relates to cohabitation and other sinful lifestyles and how the church responds to them. Here’s a snippet:

Nothing really works in this situation. People are broken and looking for something to glue themselves together. Religious people are accumulating morality points and abandoning the Gospel. The possibilities of a community of Christians to show what it means to love people as Jesus did and in their own weakness get lost in drawing lines and pretending there is such a [thing] as justification by having never [cohabited].

The possibility of seeing someone repent of sin, come to Christ and move toward true gifts of forgiveness and marriage is apparently less appealing than the Pharisaic joys of letting sinners know they aren’t welcome with us or the God we worship until they clean up their mess.

Read the entire post here.

It’s confession time. I actually have avoided inviting people to church because they were cohabiting and I wasn’t sure how this fact would impact the people’s experience at my church. You can probably imagine the thoughts that were going through my head: “What will people say if they find out? Will they still be welcoming and be a good testimony?” The good news is that when I’m being honest with myself I do think that those in my church would do the right thing. Most of them, at least, would join me in welcoming any guest, regardless of the areas of sin in his or her life. That doesn’t mean that my church would be accepting of the behavior, but sensitive to the fact that while the behavior shouldn’t be approved of, the person should feel welcome. The behavior should change if/when the person forms a relationship with Christ. If, at that point, the behavior continues, then we have a problem that needs to be dealt with.

Time for self-examination: how do I really feel about this? Would I participate in gossip about this individual? If it weren’t my friend, would I feel comfortable with the situation? Would I be a good testimony? I would like to think so. I pray that I wouldn’t gossip, that I would feel comfortable enough to make the visitor comfortable, and that I would be a good testimony. I also pray that I wouldn’t be so accepting that I inadvertently show acceptance for the behavior.

How about you?

Kindle book: Chicagoman

By Nate LaClaire —  December 20, 2009 — Leave a comment
Chicagoman cover
Chicagoman title page

I created the Kindle edition of this book by long-time client Rejoice Marriage Ministries. By the way, you can now read Kindle editions without a Kindle! Just download Kindle for PC.

see the book on Amazon.com

The Spiritual Journey Toward a Healed Marriage (Kindle edition)

I created the Kindle edition of this book by long-time client Rejoice Marriage Ministries.

see the book on Amazon.com

 

A married couple who didn’t realise they were chatting each other up on the internet are divorcing.

Online couple cheated with each other | The Daily Telegraph

 

No joke – a couple cheated on each other over the Internet. When the pair decided to meet, they discovered that they were already married. Now they are divorcing over the “infidelity” – after finding out that they are perfect for each other, from the sound of it. Truth is stranger than fiction…

links for 2006-11-03

By Nate LaClaire —  November 3, 2006 — Leave a comment